Well, first of all, I’d like to start off by holding my middle finger up nice and high and waving it in the general direction of any bigots who want to label transexual people as “perverts”.

There, now that’s taken care of…

I strongly believe – and this is all just my opinion, please bear in mind – that the body and the soul are two very, very different things. Therefore, I believe that sometimes a soul can be placed into the wrong gendered body, and be born that way. I’ve heard the expression “a guy trapped in a girl’s body” and vice versa so many times, and I have to admit I agree that can be true.

And it’s not only about sex and relationships. It’s about everything – the way you feel, your emotions, your entire personality, being and self. Your thoughts and your actions. Everything about you can feel female, you can know deep down that you are a woman, and yet you were born with a male body.

Now, I honestly believe that my soul is part female and part male. There are sides of me that are distinctly masculine, and sides that are extremely feminine, all depending on my mood and the situation. I was told once by my father that my mother had a miscarriage before I was born, and very soon after they tried for another baby and conceived me. A part of me has to wonder if my brother’s soul merged with my own, thus giving me these two genders, both of which I feel equally as strongly as the other.

That might sound a little weird to you all (ha!), but I’ve been giving it some thought. I’m not an overly religious person – meaning I don’t belong to any particular religion. I am spiritual though; I believe in fate, a “divine plan” of some kind, and a higher power. I do believe in spirit and soul though, which would explain my theory above.

Again, though, this is just my opinion…

Now to answer the question.

It’s a very personal question for me because the moment I knew I had to transition was triggered by seeing two people in love. I knew that, as a man, I could never ever experience that sort of love. It broke my heart. Like most people, I wanted to be in love, have a lifetime partner at some point who I could be myself around, share all things good and bad with, watch each other’s back, be partners in the true sense of the word, as well as lovers.

That includes sex, and as it was my life was being lived like I was looking out through someone else’s eyes, and I could never feel right engaged in that sort of relationship with anybody. I felt strangely disconnected, like I wasn’t even real. But I yearned for love and a meaningful sexual relationship with someone.

Now, this not the reason I transitioned, but it was a major factor, and it still is a major factor. I want to have sex, just like most people do, and I want to do it as myself, instead of as a mannequin. I still struggle with many physical concerns, such as those brought on by hormone replacement therapy, that could negatively affect my ability to have sex. So no, it isn’t what transition is about, but it’s a critical part of it and a facet of life that most people get to take for granted. And for me, it could even be one of a precious few deal breakers.

I could potentially face the choice between living my life as who I am and yet be unfulfilled without a sex life to speak of OR live an empty shell of a life as a boy but still have a sexuality. Neither one is acceptable. It gives me nightmares.

Well said! This is a subject I would put pretty much in the front cover of the finished work.

I hope it is emphasized very clearly there that transgender people are just people. There is no normal, no “typical,” but we are ultimately the same in our sexual needs and desires — or lack thereof — as anyone else. Among transgender people there are those who dislike sex, are only into vanilla varieties, BDSM aficionados, traditional virginal daydreams, the whole nine yards.

What’s tragic and ironic is that a bizarre sexual nature is something applied to transgender by those who fetishise us (a la the famed “tranny chaser”) or those who demonise us, while transgender people often crave more than anything else to be normal and hate their transgender status more than everything else except the unwanted gender expectations they were born into.

Simply put, transgender people are normal people with some unusual problems, which affects many things including but not limited to sex.

Also, it’s worth noting that sex is a tricky subject. In “Western” cultures, it is generally taboo; a subject that must be carefully broached in many circles, if broachable at all, before it cane talked about freely. This is in spite of the media, such as film depictions of sex, but any thoughtful person should know that the media is a reflection of reality at best. FYI, your hair will NEVER look that good after a nightlong romp in bed. Sadly, in the real world, even members of a group or couple that are having sex with one another still find it to be a tough subject to talk about openly.