Yes.

In order to come out, transgendered one must be emotionally aware and brave. On top of this, for reasons that I don’t understand, I find that most trans people are unusually intelligent and creative. These are all pros in a partner.

As an MtF butch, the trans spectrum is my community. It is the only place I have found that I can have both my gender and my background acknowledged. The rule of social propinquity suggests that you tend to date in social circles you move in.

As MtF, it is nice to have someone who understands where I am coming from and who I won’t have to educate. I find that this happens most often with trans people and trans allies.

This said, there are problems.

There is an enormous status gradient between transsexuals. Money, education, passability and safety mutually reinforce each-other. Money buys school, surgery and a safe place to live. School helps with money and being in a place where it’s safe to be out. Passability makes accessing education and income easier while helping you avoid transphobia. This quad makes the difference between transition being a rough patch, and life-destroying. As lesbians realized, sisterhood only goes so far – just because you’re dating another woman does not make you social equals. So it is with us. And dating across a significant status difference is not easy for either party. The less well off must contend with envy; the more well-off must check zer privilege.

Plus, I’ve heard that shared pain might bring people together, but it’s not exactly the foundation of a happy relationship

Absolutely, I would.

There are a lot of things that usually discourage me from dating another transgender person, though they have little to do with the fact that they’re transgender. And the same goes for the reasons I would consider being with a transgender person. One big issue that turns me off a lot is that many transgender people have some major issues. I couldn’t fault them for this even if I wanted to. Gender dysphoria is a fucked up, scary thing thanks to current social norms. But one way or another, it’s not something I’m attracted to.

Interestingly enough, being transgender can work for or against someone because of one’s appearance. I think androgyny is very sexy. While I’m used to identifying mostly as being lesbian, some transmen are very attractive to me for this reason, as many are well-known for their androgynous appearance. But if you tip that hat a little too far, my attraction level plummets. Although I wish I was, I don’t think I’m what you’d call pansexual. Having an inconsistent gender presentation can be a turn-off. I’m not into very butch girls, and I’m not into transwomen who look very manly. I try to keep as open a mind as possible for the latter. After all, it’s usually not their fault! And I’ve spent a lot of time and energy trying to make sure this isn’t socialisation dominating my thoughts, and I feel pretty confident in the consistency of my tastes, regardless of gender status. So, in my case, real androgyny is hot, mixed gendering is not. (Hey, I rhymed!) So, that can work for or against transgender people.

Now, while a lot of transgender people may have issues, I’ve also noticed that there is a significant number of trans people who are the opposite. They are well-adjusted, spiritually powerful, brave, intelligent men and women. They’ve come up against a great hardship and weathered it and become stronger people. This is extremely attractive to me. People who face and overcome great challenges tend to garner some incredible and beautiful perspectives, and transgender people certainly have their challenges. That’s a huge advantage transgender people have, as it’s not a matter of existence and survival for cisgendered people to face such a massive undertaking. For them, it’s just as often a choice as not.